Keep calm Focus on what is important – continuing the lesson Ignore what is not vital – tactically ignore some behaviours (TIB-ing) Speak what you want and say “Thank you” as if to anticipate compliance, then look away Give the student time and space to make their choice Don’t be led off into secondary behaviours – smokescreens Focus on the primary behaviour – don’t get sidetracked Quietly comment to the student on their good choice 1:1 Ensure you notice them making an effort Keeping things in perspective
Behaviours to avoid
Shouting Arguing Blaming Pointing in close proximity Getting too close when talking to student Towering over them when they are seated Using wide arm gestures Staring Defacing their work Suggesting they have to do the work again Rubbing out their work Taking their behaviour as a personal affront Moving sanctions to the ultimate too quickly Adding up misbehaviours – cumulative “damage”
Things to remember
Praise the action or decision, not the child Provide positive recognition when good choices are made If what you are doing is not working, change what you are doing Never give sanctions in anger Don't ignore inappropriate behaviour Only give consequences when you are sure of what happened You can accept a child while not accepting inappropriate behaviour Never threaten what you are not prepared to carry out We never learn resilience without facing frustrations Our expectations will often determine a child's behaviour Be patient with childish irresponsibilities but never with defiance and rebellion What children say about how they feel is not necessarily so After consequences are given out treat the child as if nothing has happened Don't play favourites with your children Each person is unique and special ... don't make comparisons Be authoritative not authoritarian Watch your emotions, children are good and reading body language
And for parents
Parents should never argue about managing behaviour in front of the children Parents should provide a united front in managing behaviour Don't believe everything your children tell you ... they are seeing things through many filters Never listen to anyone talking about behaviour management unless you know their children are well adjusted and well behaved How do you know when your child has enough self-esteem? ... you don't and your never will